i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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