ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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