i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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