You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
