and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
