if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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