my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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