My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
