After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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