Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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