xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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he just fucked me for my cheese..
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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