u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
