Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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