We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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