I wannas sexs uuuuu
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
