Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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