I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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