I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
