There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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