you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
