the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
