dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
