i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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