i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
