I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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