Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize