2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
