you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
