Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
