What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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