also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
