the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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