We're facebook friends in real life
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
