you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
