There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
