we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize