Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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