how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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