Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
