Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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