apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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