yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
