he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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