Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
