The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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