i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
