If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
