he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
it's like heaven, but drunker
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
