I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
