hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
