forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
