I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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