I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
