Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
