addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
