dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
