Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
