Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize