I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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