Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
